Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence Through the Storm – Ep.15

Overcoming adversity and Building Confidence through the storm. Ep. 14 with Jesse TodiscoOvercoming adversity and Building Confidence through the storm. Ep. 14 with Jesse Todisco

Join my friend Jesse Todisco and me for a conversation about:

Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence Through the Storm

Listen to the podcast here:

LEGAL CONDITIONS: With all rights reserved, Mostafa Hosseini owns the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of the Daily Confidence for Entrepreneurs Show podcast, and his right of publicity.

 

YOU ARE WELCOME TO: use the below transcript (up to 500 words but no more) in media articles, on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post, and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, as long as you give credit to “Daily Confidence for Entrepreneurs” and link back to the source. 

 

KEY POINTS:

  • How do you overcome adversity?

  • What do you do to boost your Confidence?

  • How do you face fear?

  • What are the ways to build confidence through a storm?

  • How do I train myself to be confident in times of adversity?

 

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

3:55 – Make sure that you’re doing the best you can to the people around you and who you serve.

14:39 – Have that humility and ask for help, because people do want to help.

19:48  – You really have to pay attention to yourself, step into what you want, create that vision, and then work yourself back from what that vision is, to live the life you want to live.

22:34 – Anything that doesn’t align with your mission for your family, your relationship with spirituality, your health and wellness, and your relationship with yourself, you should push them off to the side.

25:20 – Whenever you’re going through a storm, you want to try not to do it alone. Walk through life with people that can help you. 

38:11 – It’s keeping commitments and promises to myself. If you don’t keep your word to yourself, you start distrusting yourself. 

TRANSCRIPTS:

Mostafa Hosseini  0:01 

We are live. Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening. Welcome to Daily Confidence for Entrepreneurs. My name is Mostafa Hosseini. Today we’re doing Episode 15 of Daily Confidence. I have an amazing guest here today, Jessie Tee. Welcome, Jesse.

It is great to have you. I’m going to do a little bit of an intro to tell you about the show, and then we’re going to dive right into an amazing topic here. In Daily Confidence, our goal is to share tips and actionable advice that you can use on a daily basis when it comes to running your business. 

While we’re running the show live or when it gets posted on our podcast, we will do weekly draws for various gifts that we give away. For you to qualify for the draw, you can enter by liking, subscribing, and commenting on the live show or on our podcast. Tag a friend that could benefit from this topic or conversation, jump on the live feed or on our podcast and ask a question while we’re here. Subscribe to our show on your favorite channel. 

We also have a list of things you could do to boost your confidence called Confidence 52! Checklist that is a result of me working on my confidence while running my business personally and dealing with people over the past 20 years. 

There are 52 things you can do that are on the list. You can download it from the link that I have just posted in the comments here. 

I am going to introduce Jesse here in a second.

Today’s topic is Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence through the Storm. I love the sound of that and I cannot wait to hear what Jesse has to share, teach, and educate us on that topic. Welcome, Jesse.

Jesse Todisco 2:02 

Hey, it’s great to be here. I appreciate you having me on brother.

Mostafa  Hosseini 2:05 

Great to have you. I’m going to do the proper introduction and we’re going to dive right into it. Jesse is the founder of 46 & 2 Wealth Partners, a fee-only registered investment advisory firm in Georgia. Jesse also hosts the Jessie Tee Show. A mindset-focused podcast that teaches anyone hunting greatness in business, health, and wellness and in relationships the secrets to success. 

At an early age, Jesse realized he had a knack for being an entrepreneur. He would buy, sell, trade comic books, and sports cards. Growing up in Boston, during the harsh winter month, Jesse would shovel his neighbor’s sidewalks and driveways, earning a few dollars and other times, a cup of hot chocolate. 

I know how that feels because up here in Calgary, Alberta, we have harsh winters as well. 

In 2011, Jesse entered the world of financial caregiving. Since then he has become more and more passionate about upholding his fiduciary responsibility to those he serves. 

Jesse is a proud father of two beautiful boys. Jesse’s a passionate human optimization nerd, enjoys the outdoors, and loves spending time with his family, reading, cooking, and learning. Welcome, Jesse.

Jesse Todisco  3:25 

Wow, thank you for all that. That’s an amazing introduction. 

Mostafa Hosseini 3:27

You’re more than welcome. You’re one of the few people that, like within 10 minutes, we’re instantly connected. That doesn’t happen very often. But it does happen. I’m glad that we got introduced through Jeff. What was his last name? I forgot his last name. Yes, Jeff Heggie. He’s from Southern Alberta as well. So, Jesse, let’s dive right into it. 

Overcoming adversity Ep.15
When something's thrown in your life, you have to learn how to pivot. You have to learn how to adjust.

What is your story?

Jesse Todisco  3:55 

My story talks about overcoming adversity and building confidence through it. For all intents and purposes, I shouldn’t be alive. So just the cliff notes version. Born and raised in Boston city. The kid grew up poor. Didn’t know I was poor because we live right in front of the beach but definitely didn’t have the things that other people would have, like heat in the winter in Boston. We worked our way around that. Sometimes we went without food, but you know, just growing through my life just really quick. 

In grade school, I was bullied pretty heavily. Got my ass kicked every day which felt like for years. So that was building some resilience, some toughness going through that adversity, physical, emotional trauma, and psychological trauma. 

My dad was a 35-year heroin addict. Seeing and experiencing that, I had my own two-year run with drugs. Sold drugs for a little while. That was the entrepreneurial spirit that started off as a kid. It became illegal. Chasing the things that didn’t matter like cars, money, and all that stuff. 

I left Boston to save my life. I joined the military to serve in the Navy. I’ve steered and anchored aircraft carriers which is pretty cool. It changed my life. Fast forward, that’s 2006. I got in the military, moved to Georgia, and got away from Boston. 

I got into my entrepreneurial career. Started a business. Ran it for four years. I had outside salespeople going out selling door to door, working on commission. Had about 30 people in my office that spawned off another five offices in the Southeast. If you could think of Groupon, it was like Groupon, but door to door. We were doing discounts and services for sports teams, restaurants, hotels, and golf courses. That just led me through some seasons of life. 

My ex-wife and I lost a daughter that I held in my arms. She took her last breath. I held my mom. She took her last breath. I’ve held death in my hands twice. These are some pretty significant moments, all teaching me about life, teaching me about gratitude, teaching me about the value of time. 

Memento Mori is a stoic philosophy that talks about knowing that you’re going to die and that you’re mortal. So, show up today. Make sure that you’re doing the best you can for the people around you and who you serve. That led me to a place of service. 

I’ve run a business where I’m a fiduciary, which means I don’t screw over my clients. I can’t and I won’t. I’m perfectly aligned with their goals. I help them with living their best life through financial planning. That’s what I do today.

Mostafa Hosseini 6:13 

Fantastic. Well, that’s a heck of a story that sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Tell me volumes about who you are, your experience, and the rest of that. 

 

 

Make sure that you're doing the best you can for the people you serve.

How did you get into financial planning?

Jesse Todisco  6:32 

You know, as a kid, I always had this business-like thirst to be around business people. To be exchanging ideas and making money with people. That was something that was kind of built-in my DNA. 

But through the years, I became more and more fascinated with money. It probably came from a place of scarcity, where as a kid, we didn’t have any money. So, I wanted to learn about the wisdom of wealth and what that meant to become wealthy. I felt that I had enough intelligence and drive to be able to figure it out. 

I went for a little while at community college. I was studying things like Accounting and Business Administration. The idea of being an entrepreneur excited me. 

Then through some different iterations, I was recruited into banking. In 2011, I became a branch manager, a business banker. I really understood the lending deposit cash management side. Then I was recruited away from banking to go run a State Farm agency which does a lot of financial services, insurance, and things like that. It was more of an entrepreneurial step out of banking. 

After about a year and a half, I hated it. I quit. Shut my business down. Had three employees whom I had to find jobs. I did that except for one employee. I couldn’t find a job but I tried. 

I went out on my own in 2017. In February, I started with Todisco Financial, which was a broker-dealer relationship, where I sold products and services for a commission, investment, and insurance. 

Knowing that wasn’t the world I wanted to stay in too long once I scaled the business enough and once I grew the revenue enough, I knew I was going to be doing what I’m doing today, which is full-blown wealth management, investment management, and financial planning.

Mostafa Hosseini 8:08 

Love it. Seems like you got into management positions where you have achieved quite a bit. You must have been pretty young when you did that.

Jesse Todisco 8:14 

The first legitimate business that I opened up was when I was 25. I was the sole owner. I was responsible for 30 people. I probably should have been responsible for 30 people, but that taught me a lot about life. Taught me a lot about leadership. Taught me how bad of a leader I was. 

I was not a good leader. I had charisma, had people skills, but I couldn’t lead you across the street. I learned through those iterations from 2006 till the present day how to become a better leader. It’s all about being a student first, being humble, and being willing to seek out the information so you could teach others.

building confidence through the storm
Learn about the wisdom of wealth and what it means to become wealthy.

Mostafa Hosseini 8:50 

Beautiful.

We are talking about overcoming adversity and building confidence through the storm. What do you mean by that? 

Jesse Todisco 9:04 

Those life moments that I’ve been through, I would say, probably started off with bullying. Getting my ass kicked literally every day taught me how to be tough. It taught me how to eventually fight back and gain the skills.  I picked up martial arts. A lot of confidence came from martial arts, like self-confidence, that I was beaten out of me literally. Then it was beaten back into me with martial arts. 

It was weird because I found that I really liked being in that engagement once the fear was gone. Throwing myself headfirst into the fire is how I learned to not be afraid and build confidence. 

It was the fear that was gripping me when I was getting bullied. It wasn’t actually because I was getting punched and kicked. I didn’t want to sound like a tough guy, but it wasn’t really hurting because I don’t know if the guy knew what he was doing. But at the end of the day, I was afraid because three or four kids might jump on me. The fear of all of them froze me. 

Because I didn’t have a father figure in my life that kind of helped educate, train, and teach me these things, I think that kind of made me suffer a bit. I was embarrassed to tell people about it. I hid that story for years. 

Then just other iterations, whenever I am afraid of something, I face it. I put myself into it headfirst. I learned about it. The other thing about building confidence is being with people that have been there and done it. They can help coach and educate me on how to get through those seasons of life that may be daunting or scary. Honestly, just stepping into the fire. 

Mostafa Hosseini 10:25 

Love it. Right now you don’t look like a guy who would get bullied.

What was going on back then when you were getting bullied, was it because you were not confident enough?

Jesse Todisco 10:47 

I was always afraid to fight back. The fear gripped me. You know, I was athletic. I was an average size. Now I’m about 6’2” and about 220. I trained in martial arts every day, strength, conditioning, mindfulness, and all these other things. 

But I wasn’t the guy that I am today. It was all confidence. It was the confidence that was beaten out of me. I didn’t have any inspiration, motivation, or role models to educate me because I was afraid to tell my story. No one can help me. No one knew there was something going on. So, those perfect storm issues combined just made it like a really tough go for the first few years of grade school. 

Mostafa Hosseini 11:21 

Very interesting. Honestly, I have a hard time imagining and visualizing you being bullied, because you’re pretty confident. You’re well put together. What that tells me is, it is very possible to transform, change and go from not very confident to seeing a version of Jessie that is rock solid right now.

Jesse Todisco  11:47 

Yes. One of the best I’ve ever got from a good buddy of mine, he told me I’m a walking contradiction. I love that because, again, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be where I’m at, based on the things that I’ve been through and put myself through. 

For one reason or another, I am here and I’m able to share that story. I think there’s a reason for it. Yes, night and day, I’m a completely different person. I love the path that I’m on. It has taught me gratitude. It has taught me empathy. It has taught me self-awareness and humility. All these life lessons that I probably needed are why those things happened.

Throwing myself headfirst into the fire is how I learned to not be afraid and build confidence.

Mostafa Hosseini 12:19 

For sure.

Tell us more about overcoming adversity, what do you mean by that?

What is the best way to approach it?

Jesse Todisco  12:26 

Overcoming adversity is the first thing. It’s going to sound weird. I’m big into spirituality and all these different things in that world, but you have to surrender, you have to surrender to the outcome, and stop trying to control things.

Once you do that, it frees you up to be able to see things clearly. You can’t control the weather or what’s going to happen on the road but you can manage those things. It’s a matter of how you respond versus reacting. 

When something’s thrown in your life, you have to learn how to pivot. You have to learn how to adjust. Something I learned from the military, from sports, and martial arts, is that you’re adjusting in milliseconds when people are throwing punches at your face. You’re blocking, you’re moving, and you’re countering all these things. It’s a matter of being present.

Really understanding what’s going on, and then applying the knowledge that you’re gaining or learning and always, constantly reiterating, always constantly adding to your game and always constantly learning and always constantly growing. 

The biggest thing is to face your fears. Fear isn’t real, essentially. It’s something that the mind does to protect you. A lot of times, and this is kind of cliché. 

Will Smith says it best. Your best life is on the other side of fear. So, if you face your fear, and you step through that fear, you realize that it wasn’t really real. As long as it’s not a mortal danger, then you’re good to go. 

Mostafa Hosseini 13:45 

Absolutely, I could definitely resonate with that. I mean right before COVID hits back in February, I started taking time off. I took about two months off, plus the COVID lockdown, so it’s probably close to three months.

After taking that three months off, I basically gave up. I’m going to surrender. I’m just going to sit back, watch, give myself time to heal, observe, optimize and get better. After about three months of doing that, I came back much stronger. Much more put together and my brain was functioning like 70% better than what it was before. It was a transformational experience.

Jesse Hosseini  14:39 

One thing I could say is, surrendering is a big part and acceptance but at the same time when work comes at some point, then we’ll be doing the “work” and the self-work. I’m big into the mindset. I’m big into pushing my body, like cold therapy, running races and a 220 pounds, beating people half my size. I’m really into pushing myself because I know where my weaknesses are or my things that can be stronger. 

You have to put the work in at some point. So, surrender. Accept it. It is what it is, that silly cliche. But at the end of the day, comes the work. You actually have to put in the effort at some point for it. Whether you clear your mind for three months, then you’re just fresh and ready to go. Whether it’s the day today, you’re going through the grind, there are little points of respite. 

Another piece of this is self-care, whatever that looks like for you. It could be meditation. It could be journaling. It could be training and working out. It could be going somewhere to get a massage. It could be learning and studying. You have to be able to be your own mechanic. 

You have to give a self-diagnosis. At the same time, lean on other people. Have that humility and ask for help, because people do want to help. You ask for help from the people that have been there before. They can teach you, guide you and help you get to where you want to be. 

Mostafa Hosseini 15:52 

Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I actually did this surrendering thing this morning. I did not work today. This is the first thing that I’m doing. Although I had a big to-do list today. I got up in the morning. I’m looking around, and the gut feeling was saying, we’re not working today. I had a few phone calls and got things sorted up, but basically took the morning off. I’ve learned to listen to my gut feeling.

If the gut feeling says we’re not working, we’re not working unless somebody’s dying, or some real emergency, or I have a deadline to meet. If I don’t, I follow my gut feeling. I feel great. I’m confident in giving myself that chance of listening to my gut feeling.

 

Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence Through the Storm helping hand Ep.15
Lean on other people. Have that humility and ask for help, because people do want to help.

Jesse Todisco 16:43 

What do you really get from that? After you have come back from those days where you’ve taken that mental and physical respite what do you feel? What does that do for you for the next few days when you get back to work? How do you see that it has worked for you in a positive way?

Mostafa Hosseini 16:56 

Right now, I have a ton going on. Like we have a million different things to take care of. I need time to digest, plan and strategize on what’s my next step. Figure out the priorities and deal with it like 80/20.

Well, it’s almost 2:30 here, almost all day off. It gives me the chance to relax and settle down in my mind so that I can come back in the afternoon or tomorrow or the day after. Dude, I feel much better. Can you relate to that?

Jesse Todisco 17:31 

Oh my goodness! There are a couple of things to that. It’s the old adage of the guy that’s out there chopping down the trees with a saw. The saw was dull but he kept going at it. He’s like, I have to keep sawing down these trees. I have to keep sowing those trees but his blades were getting duller and duller. As he’s cutting down, he’s being less efficient, versus the guy that steps away who has that wherewithal piece. 

Like that mindset which says, I need to sharpen my saw, take that step back. Sharpen me on those skills, whatever that is. Come back and be able to cut down more trees efficiently. 

Then the second piece to that, there’s a guy that I follow whose name is Paul Chek. He is amazing. I’m into human optimization, which means health, wellness, spirituality, and all these different things.  He is really big on the four doctors. One of the doctors is called Dr. Sleep or Dr. Rest.

You can’t operate if you’re on fumes, like if you’re out of gas, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You have to have that self-care to be able to say that I need to take a day or half a day to do something that’s going to recharge me. 

Being around people recharges me. Honestly, even just getting a good night’s sleep can completely change the next day for you. So, those are the things that I focus on when I need to recharge.

Mostafa Hosseini 18:42 

Absolutely. Adding to your point, I think I’ve heard President Lincoln saying that if I have six hours to cut a tree down, I’ll spend the first three or four hours sharpening my axe which is perfect.

A lot of entrepreneurs actually get stuck in the cycle of I have to work really hard every day and I got to keep pushing forward, which I’m one of those guys as well. But if I don’t stop, let some days or some weeks like today sharpen my axe because, at some point, my axe stops cutting basically.

I need to stop, sharpen the axe, sharpen my mind, sharpen my strategy, and sharpen my to-do list so that I can keep cutting, pushing forward, moving forward, and continuing with the hustle.

Jesse Todisco 19:32 

That’s right. I agree 100% 

I need to stop, sharpen the axe, sharpen my mind, sharpen my strategy, and sharpen my to-do list so that I can keep cutting, pushing forward, moving forward, and continuing with the hustle.

Mostafa Hosseini 19:35 

I get asked this question and I think I have my method. How do you identify when it’s time to sharpen your axe?

Jesse Todisco 19:48 

A lot of it comes from intuition because I am tuned in to my body, my mind, and my spirit. A lot of it is introspection and discernment. I do things like meditation and journaling. I really check in with myself to see how I’m feeling. I do a lot with my body. 

When I’m a little bit, as David Goggins would call it, mucked up where my legs might be a little bit weak or sore from running. Maybe pivot and do something else training-wise, but still train or maybe take a day off and really pay attention to self-care. 

I think it’s a matter of really dialing in on yourself, your mindset, and your body. Listening, discerning, and paying attention to people telling you what you should do, what you shouldn’t do, and how to do these things.

But number one, never take advice from someone who’s not where you want to be because they can’t advise you. They can’t help you. They can try to have your best interests. You get a lot of people like family members that really love you and care about you but if they’ve never done business before, they can’t advise you on what you should be doing. 

Paying attention to people that know what they’re talking about, really listening to yourself, and being convicted in what works for you is important. At the end of the day, if you’re a business owner, an entrepreneur, and independent, your job is to create the life that you want and serve the clients that you want to serve.

If you’re working 80/90 hours a week, and you’re miserable, then why are you doing that? It is because of people out there that hustle till their eyes bleed. You get people out there saying, hustle, work, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind? Well, that may work for the few, but it’s not a long-term strategy at all. 

You really have to pay attention to yourself, step into what you want, create that vision, and then work yourself back from what that vision is to live the life you want to live.

Mostafa Hosseini 21:33 

Absolutely. I mean, paying attention to the body language, paying attention to the intuition, and to your gut feeling is huge. I think a lot of people have learned to somehow ignore their bodies and the messages that are coming from the mind and the body. I think ignoring hurts a lot more than helping. I think there are definitely some times where we have to ignore it because there are things to deliver.

Right in the middle of a grind, there is that inner voice saying, we need to quit, go back, grab a beer with our buddies and practice nothingness. We have to ignore those messages.

 

Overcoming Adversity Self awarenesEp.15
Check in with yourself to see how you're feeling.

Mostafa Hosseini 22:33

Do you have any advice on what we should ignore?

Jesse Todisco 22:34 

Wow, that’s a good question. The way that I look at it is, anything that doesn’t align with your mission for your family, your relationship with spirituality, your health and wellness, and your relationship with yourself, you should push them off to the side. 

If you’re into health and wellness, the 80/20 rule applies to me everywhere I go like the Pareto Rule you mentioned. I don’t eat a clean diet, 80% is good. It’s Whole Foods, it’s nutritious. It’s a single-ingredient food. It’s all water. That’s 20%. I’m Italian.

I can show you the stuff I have on my counter that I’m going to be cooking like gravy and meatballs. I’m going to make pasta, bread, and cheese too. I grew up Italian so that makes me happy. It reminds me of my childhood.

I think that living by the 80/20 rule and understanding that if nothing aligns with what you’re trying to do overall, like if you’re trying to go out, be fit, be healthy and lose some weight, maybe you shouldn’t eat all the junk food. Maybe you should not go out drinking every night. You have to look at the common-sense side of it. If it’s not aligning with that end goal, keep it to a minimum.

Mostafa Hosseini 23:44 

Absolutely.

What is your definition of this storm?

How do you define and identify the storm?

Do we build confidence through it?

Jesse Todisco  24:06 

I’ll take a shot at it. The storm is different for everyone. It’s very real for everyone. Your story is different from mine. My storm is different from somebody else’s. A storm can be a fleeting moment where it’s as easy as someone cutting you off in traffic and you have road rage. You want to lose your temper, your blood pressure goes up and you want to say something you might regret. 

I mean, if you can calm yourself, take yourself out of that situation and center yourself, you minimize the damage that you can do to yourself. When you hurt others, you’re hurting yourself. 

The idea is whatever your storm is, sometimes it goes back to that surrender piece. This too shall pass. This storm shall pass but also be proactive to get yourself out of the storm.

I’ve done a lot of self-work where mental wise and emotion wise, I had to actually do some heavy lifting to get to where I want to be. If I just sat there, languished, depressed and what was me, I would never get out of those types of things.

I think it’s a couple of things. It’s identifying what’s going on. It’s understanding that sometimes we have no control over these things like the pandemic. As business owners, we have to adjust. We have to pivot. People in general, have to adjust and pivot. It’s a strange time in this world. 

The big thing is this, whenever you’re going through a storm, you want to try not to do it alone. Whether you lean on a spouse, you lean on a best friend, you lean on a business partner, you lean on a mentor who is a huge person that has your best interest at heart and wants to see you succeed. Walk through life with people that can help you. 

You can turn around and do the same for them when they’re down. I think that’s the big thing too, trying not to go through the storm alone. If you have to go through it alone, embrace it, let it teach you. 

Another thing I believe in, pain is one of the best teachers. Sometimes we need that pain. We need that mental, physical, emotional pain so that we don’t do those things again or we can respond to be better prepared next time.

If you have to go through the storm alone, embrace it, let it teach you.

Mostafa Hosseini 26:00 

Absolutely.

Could you give us examples of the type of storms that maybe you have dealt with?

How you dealt with it and how you built your confidence through it?

Jesse Todisco 26:12 

Yeah, I’ll tell you a good example of a bad example. I think this can help people. My ex-wife and I have two beautiful sons, a six-year-old and four-year-old who are amazing kids. Just saw them go off to the beach, which is kind of bittersweet but I’m glad they’re having fun. I’m also sad that I’m not going to be with him for a few days.

When we had our first daughter, she was a healthy pregnancy, came out injured at delivery, and ended up passing away after seven days of being in the NICU, which is the ICU for children, neonatal intensive care unit. There wasn’t a reason that was kind of hard to wrap our minds around. At some level, her airway was compromised. The blood flow to her brain was compromised. She came out alive, but she needed life support to stay alive. 

In terms of how I responded to that, it was a bad example. Obviously, it’s a traumatic situation. I got really depressed. Really withdrawn. I leaned on food like emotional eating. I started gaining weight. I started getting lazy. 

I was leading a sales team of 30 to 35 people that had to go sell outside, business to business working on commission, cold call, and sell and they had to be motivated to do that. You have to be motivated to walk around for 8/10 hours a day outside in the heat or in the cold, and take rejection all day. Find 100 people and those 100 people, you find 10 yeses. It’s a lot of rejection. What it does is build some of the best salespeople in the world. I’m very grateful for that business. 

But the point is, I felt like I couldn’t manage myself. I felt like I couldn’t lead people the right way. Actually, I shut my business down after my daughter passed away and after about three months of just depression and sweeping stuff under the rug. What I learned from that is that pride and ego should be thrown aside and ask for help. 

We started asking for help in the form of therapy. What you should do is ask experts that can help you to walk through seasons of life that you’re not prepared for. Ever since then, this has been many years ago, I’ve completely adopted therapy. 

I’ve adopted a business coach. You want to have wise counsel around you to help you get through life. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It actually shows that you’re smart. You want to grow and learn.

I think that if you go through a tough season in life, you feel death is final, your children especially should outsurvive you. It’s a really weird thing. At the end of the day, when something like that happens, you can have somebody coach you to level you up. 

For us, the cathartic thing is, we turned that into a nonprofit where we help kids or families that have lost children of any age, from the death of a miscarriage to the death of an adult child. All these things happen for a reason. It led us to a point where we can serve others through our pain and our struggle which has become very cathartic and beautiful for us.

Overcoming Adversity Grief Ep 15
Ask experts that can help you to walk through seasons of life that you're not prepared for.

Mostafa Hosseini 29:00 

Beautiful. That’s a great example. I have learned to embrace pain when I am hurt mentally or physically. During the time that I recently take to cough, I have learned to make peace with pain. Listen to my body and see what the pain is telling me.

Like this morning, I didn’t feel like working. I did a journaling thing. I sat down and I wrote. I did a brain dump. There’s too much going on in my head. I download everything to see what’s going on. 

One of the questions I wrote this morning was, what was I worried about? Then I listed everything that I was worried about. I explained why I’m worried about this thing and what I’m going to do about it. It turns out that of these five or six things, three or four are really nothing to worry about. 

I got that realization when I put it down on my phone, crystallized the thoughts, and dealt with the reality in front of me instead of having it in my head. Love that process.

Jesse, tell us about your business. What do you do? Who do you help?

Jesse Todisco 30:20 

46 & 2 Wealth Partners, is a registered investment advisory firm in the state of Georgia. I help clients all throughout the United States. What I do is, anywhere life intersects with money, I advise my clients on how to make the best decision possible. 

There are two ways I do that with entrepreneurs and executives, those are my main clients. I’m an entrepreneur. I was an executive at one point and I looked out the same window. So I know what they need and I know what that was like. They’re basically my people. I know what they’re trying to accomplish.

If it’s investment management, they have a portfolio already set up. So I go in there and do the trades. I take care of growing their portfolio and protecting it.

But where the rubber meets the road, is the financial planning piece. The financial planning piece isn’t a one-off scenario. It’s a lifelong habit and It’s emotional. There’s a behavioral science that goes into this. I’m a consultant and a coach.

In a sense, people want to keep more of their money, make more of their money. They want to stop trading time for money, not wait till they’re 67 or retirement age to go ahead and enjoy their life because we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.

I help my clients live well today with wealth management and financial planning so that they can do the things they want to do. Let me take care of helping them leave the legacy they want to leave behind.

 

Finanacial Planning is a lifelong habit.

Mostafa Hosseini  31:33 

Good stuff. I understand that you’re sharing a gift with our audience and people that are watching or listening. Can you tell us about that, please?

Jesse Todisco  31:43 

I found it pretty impactful. I’ve done this with a bunch of people and they’ve told me it’s been really beneficial. I normally charge for my time, I’m a consultant. So I have to make sure I protect my time.

But what I’ve done is, I’ve taken this 15-minute phone call with me. Get on my calendar. I can send out the link and I’m on your schedule. Whenever you have my Calendly link, if you book a time with me, I’m there for you whenever that time is best for you.

What we’ll talk about in 15 minutes is how to keep more of your money and make more of your money or save you money without costing you any money. I’ll give you at least one idea, whether that’s investment-related, financial planning-related, or whether it’s a side hustle. 

I’ve done side hustles my whole life. I know what it takes to start other lines of income. Whatever it takes for someone to walk away from that conversation, feeling that they have something where they can tangibly go make more money, or keep more money, we’ll do that in 15 minutes or less.

Mostafa Hosseini 32:33 

Beautiful, love it. Gang, if you’re watching or listening, this is a very valuable gift that Jesse is sharing with you. If you’d like to get a better understanding of your financial world, how to deal with your wealth and health and how they relate to each other, definitely take Jesse up on his offer and get on the phone. Is it a Zoom call or a phone call?

Jesse Todisco  32:59 

I can do whatever is easier for them. My job was to remove friction from clients. If they want to do Zoom, if they want to make a phone call, whatever we have to do, the thing is, there’s no catch. There’s no sales pitch. It’s me just adding as much value as I can in 15 minutes and trying to leave people better than I found them. Whatever works for them, I can make it happen.

Mostafa Hosseini 33:15 

Fantastic. I shared the link here. Go to dailyconfidence.show/gifts. Once you are opt-in, you’re going to see a list of Jesse’s gifts right at the very top and our other gifts from other guests experts are there as well.

This is a very valuable gift. I strongly advise you to get it. Jesse is the type of guy that knows what he’s talking about. He has lived and does live what he talks about. Definitely, take him on that. The link again is dailyconfidence.show/gifts.

Overcoming adversity and building confidence through the storm
How to keep and make more of your money without costing you any money.

Mostafa Hosseini 33:54

Jesse, what do you do for fun?

Jesse Todisco 33:55 

I’m really big into moving my body. I like human optimization. There’s this weird term called Biohacking. I like to get out into nature, get my feet on the ground, and do some grounding to get in the sun. 

Right now, that’s the most important thing people can be doing. From a health standpoint, if you get 15 minutes of sun every day, get out and connect with the earth, get your body moving 30 minutes a day, you can literally stave off most infections and diseases. 

You really can control your health alone. I’m big into health and wellness. I was supposed to be in Peru back in May, on a sacred plant medicine journey. For me, I’m on my journey to find God. I believe in God but I want to strengthen that tie. I want to see what that looks like for me and do a lot of this spiritual work. 

I’m delving into that world of teacher plants, whether that’s Wasco, psilocybe mushrooms, but doing it under the guise of not trying to just do plant medicines, but actually, learn something. Come back a better person and get the wisdom that these things have given people for millennia. 

I’m big into that side of things. I’m big into building my business and helping people by making sure that I am being of service, leaving people better than I found them. That’s another big thing. 

The kids, I love getting outside, we do hikes. I have my six-year-old and almost-four-year-old hiking, almost two miles up and two miles down this beautiful mountain here in Kennesaw, Georgia. 

Just trying to role model the things for them that I wasn’t taught, like trying to teach them about masculinity, trying to teach them about how to show up in the world and be a better person. My whole thing is if I wasn’t given the tools, but I’ve learned them along the way, and if I could share them, that’s my hope. That’s my whole gym.

Mostafa  Hosseini 35:29 

Love it. I think we got to get together and do some hiking at some point. I’m a hiker. I love spending time in the mountains and nature. I think we’re going to get along just fine.

 

Teach your kids how to show up in the world and be a better person.

Mostafa Hosseini 35:45

Do you ski as well?

Jesse Todisco 35:46 

It’s a funny story. I went on a guy’s trip to Park City about three years ago, and I went under the guise of going snowboarding. The thing is, I only snowboard at one time in my life before this. I did it on the East Coast in North Carolina. Maggie Valley, I think.

The mountains on the East Coast are much different than they are on the West Coast in the United States. Basically, the West Coast in the United States or the western side, where Utah is, Park City, all that stuff. The mountains are basically straight down. 

For my first day, I was out there with my buddies and they’re all black diamond skiers. They’re all skiing and I’m the only snowboarder. They’re all amazing. They go multiple times a year and I’m out there on a snowboard trying to teach myself on day one, which I did really well. I was going down Green Hill and I was turning into the start. I was doing pretty well. I got this. 

The next morning, I got out there, conditions completely changed. The first day, it was slushy, kind of wet snow. There was no one on the mountain. It was beautiful. Then the next day, it’s sunny. Everything kind of crystallized, packed down and became ice. I get off the ski lift on my snowboard.

As soon as I hit the ground, I had zero control. Now there were hundreds of people on the mountain. I’m coming down the mountain. I think it’s called a home run at Park City.

There’s no netting. You can fall off the mountain. I started getting really in my own head like I could die or kill someone else because I can’t control myself. I took off my snowboard. I walked down the mountain for an hour and a half. 

My buddies were going across on the scale of heckling the crap out of me, just pointing fingers and yelling at me. I was like, I just want to live. My last experience with snowboarding was probably that one. I’m going to pick up the skis to answer your question.

Mostafa Hosseini 37:25 

Okay. I do skiing. I teach skiing for fun and as a volunteer. If you ever want to come up to Calgary and have fun, I’ll spend the day with you to get you comfortable in your skis.

 Jesse  Todisco 37:40 

I’m the weirdo that will take you up on that offer. So be prepared.

Mostafa Hosseini 37:44 

I’m looking forward to that. Give us examples of what you do to boost your confidence or what you have done in the past.

Do you have any processes or procedures that you do when you are feeling down?

Are there other things that you do to boost your confidence? How do you do it?

Jesse Hosseini 38:11 

I’ve stepped for confidence. It’s keeping commitments and promises to myself. For some reason throughout my life, I would quit on myself or not keep promises to myself versus someone else. I would make sure that if somebody else I had an appointment with or somebody I was doing something for, I would want to come through for them a lot more times than I would for myself. 

What happens is, if you don’t keep your word to yourself, you start distrusting yourself. This is a weird psychological thing that happens. Over the last year, I’ve really paid attention to any time I want to quit on myself, anytime I don’t keep my word and commitment to myself. What that’s done is, it has made me super self-aware about my confidence. It just builds this trust with yourself. 

From just that standpoint alone, that has helped me leaps and bounds as far as other things. It’s pushing myself in all these different ways. Learning that there’s another level and another piece to the puzzle, whether that’s cold therapy, that’s big for a mindset like sitting in ice buckets or ice tubs, doing the Wim Hof breathing, and all that stuff, it’s so much about yourself. It does give you confidence. 

I just became a runner two years ago. Within two years, I’ve started placing, showing, and winning these little 5K races. That gives you a lot of confidence. I can be a workhorse when I want to be but the confidence comes from me, from the repetitions, and the learning. All that put together, creates belief which is your confidence.

Building Confidence Through the Storm Ep.15
Confidence comes from the repetitions, and the learning. All that put together, creates belief which is your confidence.

Mostafa Hosseini 39:43 

I absolutely love the Wim Hof Method. Now every time I go out of town, I dive into the river or any lake that I’m around. What I love about the Wim Hof Method that really resonated with me were two things. 

Number one, if you want to get into cold water or in a cold shower, you have to overcome your fears, which is a huge thing. 

The next thing that it taught me was that you have to focus your mind because once you’re in cold water you can’t think about anything else. You have to just stay focused on your breathing and the rest of it and all the other health benefits that it comes with. 

Do you actively get into cold water at home?

Jesse  Todisco 40:27 

Where I’m at now is, every single day pretty much without fail, that’s a one-off I always say cold showers and only cold showers. Now the water is not even cold enough but it’s for so many things: inflammation, mindset, for energy, it affects your cells on a certain level.

There’s so much stuff that happens. The last time I did an ice bath, it was like what football players would use for two minutes. That’s not true actually after that I sat in my pool that I used to have in the middle of the winter and just for five minutes I couldn’t feel my feet. But I used to use the pool.

What I’m planning on doing is getting like a meat chest, insulating it, and doing something like epoxy around the seams. 

Even the water is pretty cold all year round, just dipping in that at least once a day because it does so much for my energy, from my mindset, health, and wellness-wise. Yes, I am into that world, but I’m going to go deeper into it as I go.

Mostafa Hosseini 41:26 

Absolutely. Like every time I dip into the river or lake water, I am awake. My body’s awakened for like a good two or three days. I absolutely love it. To me, it’s a different state of being and a different state of consciousness, where the body wakes up and when you have to go through overcoming fear and the rest of it. 

It’s beautiful. Again, if you’re watching or listening, if you haven’t done the Wim Hof Method, you definitely should check it out. It’s really good whether you’re an entrepreneur, business owner, or not.

 

I’ve stepped for confidence. It's keeping commitments and promises to myself. If you don't keep your word to yourself, you start distrusting yourself.

Jesse Todisco 42:04 

One last thing I want to say about confidence is the thought leaders that I’m into. Talking about Wim Hof, there are other guys out there already, like Marcus. There are so many people out there that are doing amazing things. The one that’s changed my life, probably the most recently, is David Goggins.

For those that don’t know his story, it’s easy to find. Basically, he had a really crazy shit life too. He turned himself into a navy seal, Army Ranger, and Air Force Special Forces. He is actually almost qualified for Delta selection, which is all the cream of the crop, top military installation, and special operations. 

He started off as a kid who got bullied. He got really heavy, fat and did all these bad things to his body. What he did is, he started giving a crap about himself, putting in the work in his book Can’t Hurt Me. It’s a great book. I get no credit for plugging this. It just changed my life. 

It’s all about his story, his journey, and his mindset. Now, he does ultra-marathons, 250 miles at a clip, and all this crazy stuff. It’s all the power of your mind. If he can do it, and I can do what I’ve done in my life, I would just attest to all that stuff to mindset and just to really push yourself and grow.

Mostafa Hosseini 43:05 

What was the title of the book again?

Jesse Todisco 43:08 

It’s called Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. The best way in my opinion is the audio book because they do almost like a little podcast within the audio books. You’re hearing from David specifically about certain moments and how he overcame things. 

Then he gives you 10 challenges to what he calls Callus Your Mind, Making your mind mentally tougher. Things like cold showers, doing the things you don’t want to do, stepping into those things, and doing the repetitions in the last two years have changed my life. 

If that’s the one shout-out, I could give in terms of mindset, in terms of confidence, in terms of overcoming through the storm, check that book out. It’ll change your life.

Mostafa Hosseini 43:44 

The title was Can’t Hurt Me by David G

Jesse Todisco 43:48 

David Goggins, Yes, Goggins.

Mostafa  Hosseini 43:51 

I don’t know how to spell that but I leave it as David G. I’m sure they can Google everywhere. 

Jesse Todisco 43:57 

You can see him on Joe Rogan. He does interviews and stuff. He was an incredible human being who‘s been through a lot of pain, but he has turned his pain into success.

Mostafa Hosseini  44:05 

Love it. I’ll add it to my list. Now Jesse, if you had a Facebook ad, that everyone on the planet could see it and you have a message for everyone. What would that ad say?

Jesse Todisco 44:19 

It’s going to sound really woo-woo and spiritual but I would just say love. I would just say love yourself, love others. That’s it. As easy as that sounds and as hokey and kind of spiritual woo-woo. It’s literally the answer to most things in the world. If you had more love for yourself and more love for other people, the world will be a much different place. I would just say, love.

Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence Through the Storm Love yourself and othersEp.15
Love yourself and love others, then world will be a much different place.

Mostafa Hosseini 44:40 

Beautiful. Love it. Now, is there anything that you want to mention that I haven’t asked before we get going?

Jesse Todisco 44:48 

At this point? No, just a shameless plug. The Jessie Tee Show, a podcast you mentioned earlier in the show that helps entrepreneurs, thought leaders, creators, and athletes in their journey in life. 

We talked about all sorts of amazing things, how to level up in business relationships, health and wellness, and the sacred plant medicines that I was talking about. 

There’s something for everyone. It’s all around the mindset of growing within those areas. If you’re an entrepreneur, thought leader, creator, and athlete who wants to grow, check it out. That would be my only question.

Mostafa  Hosseini 45:17 

Beautiful. Jesse, this has been an absolutely amazing conversation. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for sharing your message with me and our audience and the people that are watching and listening. Great to have you.

Jesse Todisco 45:29 

Been an absolute pleasure. My brother, thank you so much for your time. I will take you up on your travel plans coming up there. You can teach me how to ski. I’ll show you my resilience.

Mostafa Hosseini 45:40 

I mean, you fly up here to Calgary and I will gladly take a day off. Then go spec because we got some world-class ski resorts here in our backyard, Banff National Park, and around. Thank you, again. 

For those of you who are watching, I did post a link here to Jesse’s gift. Do take him on his generous offer. If you want to take advantage of that, go to dailyconfidence.show/gifts. The link to his calendar is actually there. You can pick a time on his calendar and pick his mind. Explore the possibilities for 15 minutes that he graciously offered. 

Again, if you want to enter our draw for additional gifts and giveaways that we do during the show, if you like, subscribe and comment during the show and if you tag your friend that could benefit from the topic and the title that we were talking about, if you ask questions on our live show on the feed on our podcast, if you subscribe to our podcasts and write a review about the show, you get entered to the draw for any of those activities.

One of the ways that we help our audience and our students to boost their confidence is through my Simple Marketing Formula Boot Camp, which we’re running on a monthly basis. The next one is coming up in September. Join us. That’s where we help you to put your one-page strategic marketing plan together in seven days or less. It’s a live boot camp. 

It is a $2,000 workshop that we’re offering for free right now. It’s not going to be like that forever. Take this and go read some reviews from the people that I have attended. See what they say. If you feel that getting some clarity and focus from your business on how to honor your business, on how to grow and scale your business, and developing your confidence, as a result, is a thing that might help you. Check it out. 

I look forward to serving and supporting you. Thank you, Jesse, for joining us. Thank you everybody for watching and listening. I look forward to seeing you in our next episode. Have a wonderful day, week, and month. We’ll see you later.

Jesse Todisco 48:05 

Thank you. 

Mostafa Hosseini 48:06 

Bye now.

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